Maybe-Someday.com

Posted on February 27th, 2009 at 12:34am

“The way out is through.” Meaning, the only way to get done needs to get done, is to just fucking do it. This will be this weeks theme.

Life is pretty good these past few days, actually. Chock it up to this new diet, maybe. I was asked earlier in the week if I feel any different/better being so long without fast food. I hadn’t really given it any thought before, but I suppose I do. All week long, the hours between getting home from work and going to bed (which have always been my least favorite hours of the day), have been… enjoyable.

I’m going to continue to stack on weekly goals. All on top of each other, one at a time.

There has definitely been a mood change within me lately. It kinda sneaks up on me and takes me by surprise sometimes. The topic of “learning to be alone” has been one of discussion lately. This was also advice given to me by Emily a couple years ago. It has taken a long time, but I feel that I’m finally reaching that.

November 15, 2005

I’ve been coming home from work to an empty house (Danny still doesn’t count). I’ll watch a movie, cook a dinner (Wednesday night was delicious quesadillas, which I’m still happy from), work on a project on my computer (just recently installed Windows on my Mac so I could play some PC games), play some Mario Kart Wii with James and his buddies… I’ve just been keeping busy. It’s such a change of pace for me. I’ve spent too many nights bored and alone, simply browsing the internet ad nauseum, counting down the hours until it was time for bed.

It feels really good to come home from work and have the energy and desire to want to do something other than waste away on the computer. Even if I’m just watching a movie, or playing video games. It’s something.

It’s a start.

There is a sense of accomplishment I’ve got now. I realize how silly this all must sound. All I’ve done is given up some food, and started playing video games — and I feel accomplished? Well, I guess that just goes to show what life was like before I did those things.

It’s a start. And it’s all leading up to something bigger.

Five years ago today.

Goodnight Moon.
Dream On.