Maybe-Someday.com

Posted on July 22nd, 2001 at 11:01pm

Okay, freaky… the whole time I thought I had “how beautifull you are” stuck in my head… but the name of that song is actually “the perfect girl”

IS THAT NOT FREAKY!?

Posted on July 22nd, 2001 at 10:57pm

Oh so much to say! SO MUCH INDEED! However.. no time. No time!!

I think I’m falling…………………… :whistles:

Okay, well.. I’m going on over to Austin’s house. And can you guess whose there? CHERYL! WEE!

:giggles:

High on Emotion.

“…”

Posted on July 21st, 2001 at 1:44am

Just… perfect.

Posted on July 21st, 2001 at 1:25am

Goodness gracious. This is what happens when I don’t update in a while. A bazillion important things happen and I don’t get to share.

So, as I mentioned in the last entry here, I got to meet that Cheryl girl. I guess she’s alright…. :giggles:

She hung out with the band on Monday durring band practice, and also got to meet Meghan. I felt like she was bored to death durring practice, but she swears she was having fun. For lunch we went to Carls Jr…. I guess they don’t have Carls Jr. in Pensylvania. Not missing much.

Anywho, after we all got back from lunch, I was hanging out playing some PS2 while everyone else was in the studio, and Cheryl came out lookin’ sorta bummed. Long story short she told me she is uncomfortable around Don because he has a big crush on her.

(Now this is something I’ve known for a while, and tried to hint at to her before. Something I think I may have mentioned in my diary long ago too. I didn’t feel right about her staying with Don. Just goes to show that nobody listens to me!)

I told her I would do my best to protect her from the evil stares, and un-cute little comments from Don like “Oops, I accidently used your towel again.” And other shit like that.

So then, Tuesday night a whole big group of people are all over at Don’s house having a little bonfire. I needed to drop my car off at home and I asked Don to follow me to my house so I had a ride back. So, on the way back to Don’s house he started to open up to me and told me he had a crush on Cheryl… he said that when he talked to her online he just got this “vibe” that she liked him more than friends. He then asked me if I liked her “like that” too… (I guess supposedly her and I were flirting… :blushes:) …and I told him that I didn’t.

Goodness, Im turning this into a fucking story.. it doesn’t need to be drawn out this long. Okay, long story short… I told Cheryl what Don told me, and Cheryl then talked to Don and told him to basically stop thinking there was more than just friendship, and etc etc. Ya’ follow? Good.

Theres a bunch Im skipping over, but its all useless little trivia shit. Had I been updating my diary on a regular basis, I would’ve included it, but oh well! Anyway… later that night Cheryl and I continued to flirt around, and I decided to spend the night, along with Paul and Meghan. As luck would have it… Cheryl and I got to share Don’s bed, while Don, Meghan and Paul all slept outside in another room.

Theres a lot than can be said right now… but I think Im gunna skip over most of it. Her and I just did a lot of wrestling around, tickling, and all around flirting. She kept tracing her fingers up to my mouth, and turning my head twoards her’s.. and I knew she was trying to get me to kiss her but… I was too damn shy! And scared!! It was probably another hour and a half before she just gave up and kissed me first!! Heh, I just know if I continue to talk about everything that was going on in my head right then… I’d end up sounding like some dumb blonde school girl rambling on about the new hot guy in school. Lets just say… I was fucking stoked.

The next day, this would be a Wednesday, Don and Don’s mom and grandma were gunna take Cheryl to the Zoo… and well… she really didn’t want to go at all. It would just be too weird being there with Don and all. So, what did I do? Well.. I invited myself, of course! So, we all went to the Zoo and it was really not that bad. We held hands, which was awfully cute! We tried our hardest to hide it from Don, but he ended up seeing it anyway. And the even more amazing thing is… I didn’t even spend more then 10 bucks!

When we got back from the Zoo, Cheryl and Don came back to my house to watch The Big Labowski…. Don passed out almost right away. Heh, well, I guess I’ll skip over this juicy part too.

Moving on.. to yesterday! Thursday I had to work, and when I got home from work I high tailed it [I actually had to get someone to drive me down there!] down to Don’s house to meet up with everyone having another bon-fire get together. Just as last time Paul and Meghan, and Jacob joined in this time. Don told us that his mom told him that she didn’t want me and Cheryl sleeping in the same room along together again.. which we think was a lie… so, we got the futon out side in the family room, and shared the room with Meghan and Paul. Jacob and Don slept together in Don’s room. I’ll end this part of the story right here, as well.

Well.. what it comes down to right now… is I’m just litterally walking on sunshine right now. I cannot remember the last time I was this genuinly happy. Its very possible that I’ve actually never been this happy before. Every hour I’m with her just feels like a minute or two… shes… just fucking great.

Theres a lot more going on in my life actually. Work, school, insurance, lack of car… but… right now, I could care less about all of that.

…for lack of a better word… perfect…

“no I won’t do it some more…”

Posted on July 17th, 2001 at 1:59am

Im sorry dudes.. I’m like.. tired.

I got up at 8:00 so I could be awake for Don to come pick me up! I MET CHERYL TODAY! Shes oh-so-cool… I lub her! Heh.

I have many things to write about, but… IM TIRED. Sorry.

Goodnight.

“…”

Posted on July 16th, 2001 at 2:13am

I’m not a freak because I downloaded, and frequently listen to, the theme to the Space Mountain ride… right?

Wouldn’t that be kick ass if we covered it. Ha! I wonder if Paul would.

Anywho… work today was one of the best days Ive had in a long ass time. It pretty much consisted of me and Michelle#2 hanging out and talking. I went on my 10 minute break, and was gone for an hour. Her and I just stayed back there and chewed the fat. Best part was Brian (the head honcho for the day) knew about it and was okay with it. Gettin’ paid to flirt… doesn’t get better than that.

Shes a super cool person, but I should keep my feet on the ground. I’m pretty sure nothing more will come of it. I do want to hang out with her more. Espcially outside of Legoland.

I have tomorrow off, as always. Don is going to pick me up at freakin’ 9:30 in the morning, and then I get hang out in his car while he goes to his piano lessons, then we’re gunna go up to Pauls house for practice. However, the silver lining is Cheryl will be stuck in the car w/ me too, so I’ll finally get to meet her and hang out. I need to be sure and grab some jellybeans for her before I leave.

Okay, that was funky… I just sat still for like ten minutes day dreaming about nothing.

I promise I’ll have more to talk about tomorrow night. G’night Moon.

“…”

Posted on July 15th, 2001 at 4:03am

Its always so damned hot in this room at this time. I know why… but I aint gunna tell ya’! I have my little fan on blowing on me, but its soo noisy. Its making me turn my music up louder and louder and louder… not good. Moving on.

I wonder who started this whole journal craze. The first online diaries I ever saw were on some old japanese porno pages. I think they were just lists of recent updates the site had, and they named the section “Diary.” I remember thinking that was such a great idea. Thats honestly what inspired me to post my diary online. It was only later on I found it was such a huge thing. Bazillions of people are doing it to the point that other companies are profiting off it. Odd thought. Very odd.

And its not like Im really getting much out of this. Well, I dont know how entirely true that is. But, I do believe my diary has caused me more shit than it has done me good. The only good I do get from it, is just having a place I can vent. Having a constant place I can go to when things get shitty without bugging a friend. Eh.

So then, why not keep a real diary? Why post it online? I dont know. For one, I hate actually writing. My handwriting is horrible. I’m a teenager in the year 2001… In another few years no one will be writing ANYTHING. Heh, theres another odd thought.

But, I cant quite figure out why it is Im sitting here and actually typing the inner workings of my mind, knowing any random joe can stroll across my page and read it. In fact… its not the random people I have a problem with. I actually want people I dont know to read what I have to say. Its my friends I sometimes get scared about reading this.

When Michelle and I went out… I just started writing in a journal. She thought it was a dumb idea, but oh well, right? There were a few times where I posted some… not so nice, yet TRUE things about her and it caused so much shit. Plus, there were countless time she took things out of context, and would be mad at me without me even knowing! Ugh. See.. even this paragraph would probably upset her if she were to read it.

Yet, I know that when Im done writing, I will click the post button, and wont think twice.

Anywho… what happened today. I didn’t get a chance to cash my damned paycheck, which means Im going all weekend with nooo money. I didn’t see Cheryl today.. but it sounds like everyone else and their mother did. What a fucking great first impression, right? Eh. Work wasn’t that bad. Everyone I worked with today was pretty kick back, and we had a lot of fun. Sometimes work can be so damn fun that It doesnt feel like Im at work at all. I just run around, playing with kids.. its great.

Two kids called me a Discrase to Manhood because I told them I liked Power Puff Girls. :shrugs: Its a good show!

I’ve had very little to eat today. I might make myself a sandwhich before I head up to bed. Kinda sounds good. Christ.. I dont know if I want to end this entry or not. Theres a lot I feel like talking about… Just nothing I can think of at the moment. Alright, goodnight.

“…”

Posted on July 14th, 2001 at 3:24am

Because if it is… I think I am.

Today was an all around shitty day. I actually got to work early, which was the only good thing that happened. When I got to work, I was expecting my ride to go down, like it always does… but of course today would be the day it didn’t go down. Actually… thats kinda freaking considering its Friday the 13th. Spooky. I heard the ride opened on a Friday 13th.

Christ. And so I went home, and did nothing. My parents gave me my talking to for the new ticket. Long story short, my insurance goes up about 300 bucks a year, and they took my car away from me. They think I don’t apreciate it. I wish they knew just how fucked up they are. I… dont even want to talk about it right now.. god damn.

Tonight Cheryl made it down. Her bus came in around 11PM… I promised her I’d be there to say hi when she got off… but since I got my car taken away, I couldn’t. Don said he was going to pick me up, but then called me back and said he changed his mind, or something. Saying it was too late to pick me up, and… all this other stuff. I was really upset. I really think Don has a big crush on her and I feel bad having her stay with Don for three weeks. And Im not really sure if its my place to talk to her about it.

If I can, I want to cash my check tomorrow and take her out to lunch before I go to work. I’m not sure if Im still happy with my life. Everything sorta turned to shit on me.

Eh, Im just not in the mood to type anymore. Goodnight.

Posted on July 13th, 2001 at 3:29am

Christ.. its damn hot in here. I’d open a window, but then I’d have to move.

Yesterday, the 11th, was Michelle’s (Michelle #1!!) 19th birthday. I had a band practice early in the morning and then I took her to Disneyland. On my way home, I got a ticket. I then cried. I am fucked.

Band practices are so much fun now. I’m really enjoying them a lot more than I ever thought I could. We are all getting along better. ‘Cept Paul tends to get a little bi-pollar on our assess once in a while. There is a lot of bad shit going on with him too. He said our last two practies were very unproductive, whereas Don, Austin and myself all think they have been our two most preductive practices in a long long time. I think its because we’re all in Paul’s studio, and not Don’s 6′x6′ cube. It gets toooo hot toooooo soon in Don’s box. Pauls studio takes a long time to warm up, so it helps.

Just for the fuck of it, we all switched instruments. I played drums, Don got on bass and sang. Austin played guitar, and paul was on keyboards. We tried playing HOLD….. it was something else, indeed. I cannot play drums to save my life.

So then Michelle and I went up to Disneyland… My card expired on the 10th. Does anyone have any fucking clue how depressed that makes me. No, i didn’t think you did. She got her new $300 anual pass for her birthday… I’m jealous. I’m gunna buy one of those as soon as I get the funds.

Disneyland was fun. This was the first time going w/ her to the park since looong before we broke up. And, it wasn’t really weird for either of us. We were both being pretty cool. Twoards the end of the night I started to remember why I was glad we broke up. She was getting back to her bitchey self.. great way to end the night.

On my way home, I got pulled over for doing 80+. No excuses this time… I just got caught. I didn’t argue with the cop… I don’t know if it would have made a difference. He just doesnt know how bad he FUCKED me over by writing me another ticket. This is my second speeding ticket in probably 2 1/2 months, which means I can’t go to traffic school to get it off my record. So, now I’ve got 1 point on my driving record, which will completely fuck up my car insurance… which, since I recently got kicked out of school, is going up anyway!!

I think my insurance alone is more than the rest of the family’s combined.

Plus, I’m still paying off the other ticket I got. I’ve been giving my parents $150 out of each paycheck.. and my pay checks aren’t that damned big. Oh, Oh, Oh.. and now my boss decided he doesnt want people working 8 hour shifts anymore, so I dont get to work as much I used to. Sucks all around for me right now.

Anywho.. on to happier things. I think I’m becoming a LiveJournal addict. I keep going back to this site and looking up other people journals. Its one huge community. I added one new girl to my friends list. I visited her journal and she was very fun. Pretty cute too! ::smiles:: Lets see if she adds me back!

Im still feeling pretty good with my life right now. I dont know how though. Nothing’s going good for me right now. But I cant help but feel very content. Im feeling so much more grown up. I think it might be ‘cuzza my work. I feel responsible. With my last job, I had so many days off that I never got in the habbit of really waking up, going to work, waking up going to work… I never felt that. Now that Im working [alomst] full time at LegoLand… Im feeling really good about it. I feel adultish… lol.. how lame. Plus, Im starting to really get to know people at work… I think I said that before… and that helps me a lot in my confidence. I dont feel like the loser new kid.

“…”

Posted on July 10th, 2001 at 1:39am

Productive Day!!

There was a band practice today. Im starting to regain my love of the band. That always feels good. We started off writing a new song named Dreams End. I’m still not sure if that name is in reference to the end of a particular dream, or if its simply saying that dreams come to an end. Oh well. Then, somehow we started mocking lounge music and we came up with a very cool new version of Still Breathing. The once happy-go-funky song is now inches away from being suicidal. Can’t go wrong with that.

Paul was in an odd mood I think. He got all bi-polar today. I set some chords down on this bongo drum in his studio, and he picked them up and threw them across the room yelling at me to stop disrespecting his shit. I was like half a second away from driving home when Austin came and got me. :shrugs: All’s well that ends well.

So, the band is looking good. Yet again were making plans to record our demo. I’ve never seen a more unproductive group of people. We’ve been talking about making a demo for I think two years now. We’ve had 10 hours of free studio time collecting dust for going on four months. Something just needs to sting our assess to get us moving. Adam bought a new CDR for the studio and thats how we’re planning on making our new demo. We hope recording some tracks CD-Quality will get us motivated. We’ll just have to wait and see.

I finally got the long awaited “Talk” from my parents for being kicked out of college. My mom made me expect the worst of this talk, but it wasn’t that bad. I didn’t lose my car, or… anything for that matter. I think Wednsday, or soon, Im just gunna drop in on Mira Costa and raise some hell with the A&R people… I really need to go to school next semester. All hell breaks loose if I dont. Poor me and Paul. Paul and I. Whatever.

As I’m sitting here right now… I’m feeling very happy. Much more “like myself.” Whatever that means. Perhaps today was just a good day. Im looking forward to getting more work done on my website. Now that this huge Diary hurdle has been scaled… I can get back to work. Emily’s Pseudo site is just about finished now. Im still thinking of making a Red Chord site for Danny and Drew. If I make them one, then I’d feel obligated to make Todd a Black Francis site… which wouldn’t be all that bad. It sure as hell keeps me busy.

I really really really need to write Stephanie back. Its almost been two weeks now!! Ugh, I’m so bad at shit like that. I feel bad too.. ‘cuz Im worried she’ll take it personal. I know I’ve failed completely if I get another letter from her before I send one back.

Some good news though is Cheryl leaves tomorrow to visit all of us!! I’m very very excited about it. Although I feel very odd about having her stay with Don. I think my problem just may be Im jealous. Ack… I need to go buy some jellybeans.

My anual DisneyLand card expires in less than 48 hours. Thats one of the most depressing things I’ve had to face in a long ass time. I need to renew, but I can’t pay for it all out of one pay check. I’m still paying off my fucking car tickets. And if I dont go to school next semester Im going to have to start paying for all my car and health insurance. Whats more important to me? Insurance… or Disneyland? No contest!

Anything else? I dont think so. Goodnight.

“Doctors looking down on me…. breaking every law of science”