Maybe-Someday.com

Sunday, September 28th, 2008 at 2:11am

2 Comments

So, yeah. Twenty seven years old. When did that happen? Christ.

Kind of a lot going on, and I don’t have much energy to sum it all up. My birthday was, all-in-all, pretty good. The part I was looking forward to most, going out to dinner for pizza at Boston’s with the family (and Mallory!), almost didn’t happen. My mom was told at the beginning of the week that she will have to go back into surgery to remedy an infection in the wound from the first surgery. Not good. The date ended up being set to Friday, so we were able to go out on Thursday.

I spent Friday night watching episodes of Boston Legal with Mallory. We hung out until 2 in the morning. Things have been kind of rocky between us in a very strange, unexplainable way for a few weeks now. But, I think over the last week we’ve really been mellowing out and finding our rhythm of things. Everything is feeling much more normal and natural right now. So, obviously this a good thing.

The majority of today was spent cleaning up my apartment. I finally feel “moved in.” A full year after technically moving in. A lot of the art I had packed away in boxes are now up on walls. I no longer have an empty wall to hang stuff! This is a problem I welcome. I also managed to fashion a great end table out of some boxes and wood. My apartment definitely feels new, and I love it. Now I just gotta tackle my bedroom with the rest of my non-Disney artwork.

Later, Mallory, Sarah and Carrie all came over to hang out, have drinks, and play Wii. Mallory made a delicious (and amazingly pretty) birthday cake. Mint chocolate, mmmm… This little shindig had been on-again off-again Friday, and most of Saturday. I had originally wanted it to be more of party with more people, but I am very happy with the way it turned out. Just a good quiet night in. With lots of alcohol.

So, the birthday list as it stands. Todd and Beth got me the pictured-above Mickey vinyl figure. It’s super cute, and I need to find a better place to display it. Danny got me nothing. My parents took my printer to get repaired, which I’m very excited about. They promise more gifts to come when they can go out and do it, which is just fine with me. Mallory got me the hardcover edition of the Haunted Mansion comics, which I had been eye-balling since it came out months ago. Emily painted me a gorgeous painting, which is now proudly hanging on my wall. Sarah (Curtis) got me a big bottle of Sailor Jerry’s rum, with the generous offer to help me drink it. And, I think that about does it.

Let’s hope next year is at least as good as this.

Edit: Here be pictures of some of the stuff I did, and was too lazy to post last night.

Goodnight Moon.
Dream On.

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008 at 11:51pm

No Comments

There is so much you don’t know about me.

Goodnight Moon.
Dream On.

Monday, September 22nd, 2008 at 1:07am

2 Comments

So, after a long, long while of not doing anything with those t-shirts I got printed up, I’m going to give this one more try. Things will have to start off slow. Slow and comfortable. But I will get some traction this time. I plan to sell off the rest of these #1000 shirts for cheap. Ten bucks or something. Then re-design it, get some new ones printed up. Some new designs floating in my head. I might be seeking some partnership with…. a guy. Yes.

Mallory took some (100+) photographs of herself modeling my t-shirt. She’s gonna bring them over for me to sort through tomorrow. This issue of t-shirt models have been the only excuse I’ve had left for not getting this up and running again. So I am now fresh out of excuses.

I did a little bit of cleaning around my room and found an old notebook of mine. I used it for the last couple semesters of school as a note taking device thing. I dusted it off (literally) and am gonna try to find a place for it in my day-to-day life now. A to-do list, a place for random thoughts. I’ve tried to get organized so many times before using fancy desktop calendars on the computer, or agendas in my phone… nothing seems to beat old fashioned paper and pen.

The Malster and I took a trip to Disneyland yesterday. I am quite certain it was the weirdest Disneyland visit she’s ever had. We went on a total of 4 rides all day long. Spent countless hours just sitting and people watching. Every time we’ve been before, it’s been a pretty typical day. Trying to get many rides in, staying busy. But I was feeling very lazy yesterday, and really just wanted to sit.

I could (and have before) go to Disneyland and not go on a single ride. I’d be happy with just a churro and a mint julep, and sit. Just sit.

We finished the night with a trip to the new Cheesecake Factory, and ate way too much food. I’m still working on my dessert, actually.

So, my birthday is later this week. We’ll see how that goes. I admit — I’m less than skeptic this time around.

The question mark is growing limp. The last of the embers that smoldered, have been doused cold by booze. The distance feels greater now than ever before. Your place has been defined.

Goodnight Moon.
Looking Up.

Tuesday, September 16th, 2008 at 12:38am

No Comments

I kinda don’t even want to talk about today. It felt like a 12 hour clusterfuck of stupidity. So, let’s move on.

Tera came back from her trip to the Bahamas over the weekend (why the hell does it seem like everyone is traveling right now! Dammit!), and we had a chance to catch up. She admits to being pretty depressed (too) over the past couple of weeks, even though as far as I can tell she’s in a pretty great place in her life. It finally seems as though the latest boy chapter of her life is closed.

We also managed to make semi-plans for this tattoo outing. She “knows a guy” that’s gonna do her for free. Not exactly the best recommendation for something permanent, but hey. I am excited about it. I’m well aware I’m very likely gonna try to chicken out when it comes down to it… but i’m going to try very hard not to. It’ll be really awesome to have matching tattoos with her.

Trying to keep busy. It helps keep my mind off everything. I’ve got a couple projects now that I think will help with that. The only downside is that the project I’d like to work on most costs a fair bit of money.

New-Chris made an appearance today. Must be a cold day in hell.

Goodnight Moon.

Monday, September 15th, 2008 at 1:01am

1 Comment

This has been a bit of an eventful weekend.

Sadly, it started with me calling out from work on Friday when I woke up to my eye being crusted shut. Gross, I know. My eye had been itching and watering (just the one) and being all kinds of annoying all week long. I went to the doctor, and sure enough, I’ve got the pink eye.

And let’s stop your thoughts right now — I did not get poo in my eye.

So, I was given some medicated eyedrops and things are looking up. My eye still gets occasionally juicy now and again, but I should be back to normal real soon.

I really hate missing days of work like that. With a department so small, it can really back up when a speed bump like this comes along. I’m also bummed I missed Marke’s last day before his month-long trek through Euope. I also had to cancel my plans to go up to LA that night. No concert for me. Charrmaine was very understanding, but I still feel like a douche. I owe her two dinners now.

My dad and I hung out a little on Saturday. As part of an early birthday present, we took my printer into a shop for repair. A couple years ago I got a really kick-ass printer for school work. Large format, excellent quality, the whole nine. Shortly after getting it, it stopped working. I was too busy in school to get it fixed, and it quickly fell to the back burner on my list of things to do. After school, it was off the stove altogether. But I had the random thought to suggest it as a birthday gift, and I’m glad for it. It’s a pretty expensive printer that is otherwise collecting dust.

In the evening, Mallory and I went to go see Burn After Reading. I’m undecided about the movie. I read a review before watching it that said it was as funny as Big Lebowski. Which… it just wasn’t even close. So, I think I went in expecting too much. It wasn’t at all a bad movie — very much a Coen Brothers film, and have they ever gone wrong? But it just wasn’t the movie I was expecting, so I feel a little let down.

Mallory and I discussed a lot of the stuff that has been plaguing our friendship over the past week. Some of it was typical misunderstandings, or “I’ve been feeling this way for a long time and it’s just now boiling to the top” type stuff. By the end of the night things were far more “normal” between us. She reluctantly agreed to watch a few episodes of Boston Legal… and gave it a 7 out of 10. Not bad for the first few episodes.

It was kinda neat to watch Boston Legal. The first time I’ve seen it since being back from Boston. I immediately recognized some of the arial and scenic shots that go between commercial breaks. Yay for travel!

Right as I dropped Mallory off at her place, my phone rang. It was Emily! I kinda stared at the screen for a moment or two, not sure what I should do. I haven’t spoken to her on the phone in years, and years. I honestly can’t think of how long it’s been. More than likely only once since we broke up, ten years ago.

As surreal as it was to hear her voice — and how much older it sounded — we ended up having an excellent conversation about everything going on in my life. She said she didn’t know if she could believe my Tweets about having a good weekend.

Doctor Taylor, making house calls. Taking care of me, as she always, always has.

As far as that depression goes. I can’t say that’s all gone, but I do feel this weekend had a few choice realizations that I need to hang on to for strength. I am ready, now more than ever, for some serious life changes. Its quickly becoming a matter of life and death.

Goodnight Moon.
Thank You.

Friday, September 12th, 2008 at 9:08am

8 Comments

God damnit, Emily…

Tonight, she tells me she thinks it’s time I start visiting a therapist. Again. This comes at the same time that for the first time in years I’ve quietly thought to myself “hmm… maybe it’s time I get put back on some pills…” You know. For balance.

The hilarious bit about that is that I haven’t really spoken to her in a number of weeks, and she’s formed this (admittedly, accurate) opinion based solely on my Tweets. She’s a smart woman. And knows me…. so… damn… well.

My eye has been super aggitated all week long. Watery, and itchy, and bleh. All week long its been like this, but tonight has been the worst. I just spent about an hour and half driving around to different pharmacies around the area. Grocery stores that are still open, or a CVS. Even a 24 hour WalMart. Nothing was open. Yeah — the 24 hour WalMart was closed. I’m a mess.

I just want to spend the weekend in my bed… and at the rate things are going, I just may end up doing that.

Goodnight Moon.

Tuesday, September 9th, 2008 at 7:36am

1 Comment

Seeing as the world is going to end on Wednesday, I thought it would be best to try and squeeze one more entry in before we all get sucked into a black hole.

I have been ridiculously depressed for the past few days. To the bone, it feels like. It seems to be the usual case of “Chris isn’t ever happy with what he has,” that never gets taken seriously. But that’s alright. I think I can manage. Maybe.

I hate coming home late at night. I’ve been calling it the walk of shame. From my car to the front door. Walking past a half dozen other apartments. A half dozen other people with friends over, social gatherings, laughs. A half dozen other lives I’d rather have. Coming home to this dark apartment. It’s really beating me down.

I’ve been looking for a shoulder to cry on, but it’s frustrating. All my friends are scattered around the country. LA, Texas, Pensylvania… and now London.

I talked to Sarah for a little while today. It was somehow the best part of the day. Except for the parts when she tries to guilt me into visiting her. Crazy thing is, I’ve been considering it. Emphasis on the word crazy. What’s another thousand dollars of debt? Right?

No apologies this time.

The rest of the week may be moving by pretty slowly. I think I’m going to a baseball game tomorrow… it might be next week though now that I think about it. My dad would have reminded me. I’m still going up to see Charrmaine on Friday. I think I already know how that night’s going to end.

I’ve been toying with the idea of going up to Disneyland by myself. Definitely one of those things I’ve always kinda wanted to do, but never have. Just me and my camera, and all the time in the world.

Provided the world doesn’t implode on itself.

Goodnight Moon.
“Go with the flow,” she said.

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008 at 7:14am

1 Comment

My rent went up 125 bucks yesterday. I’m pretty peeved about it.

When Danny and I decided to move out, we put a price limit of 1,400 for rent. When we found the place we live now, they were asking 1,475. But we really liked the place, it was in a good area, recently remodeled, felt good and clean and etc, so we were fine with the extra 75/month. Now that our ten month lease is up, we have the option of going month-to-month, which is just awesome. Except they’re asking for an extra 125. That’s 1,600 a month—and dammit, that’s just not comfortable for me.

The price increase doesn’t really bother Danny much, that kid is rich. But, I’m in a bit of a pickle. I don’t know what to do. Chances are I’ll just grin and bear it for the next few months, until the moving out with Mallory plan starts to take shape. However, my dad is already starting to advocate that I re-sign a lease. I don’t want to be locked down for another year, or even six months.

I admit, I looked at one bedroom apartments over the weekend. Mostly out of curiosity. I still think that as much as I would hate living alone, it would be really good for me. But looking at what most places are asking for a one bedroom (on average, about 200 less than a 2 bedroom—where the logic is in that, I’ll never know), it became pretty clear pretty fast that I just cannot afford to go it alone.

Just too many money problems going on right now. Too much out, not enough in. Etc., etc. And this rent issue is just the latest nail in my financial coffin.

Goodnight Moon.
Send Help.