C’est La Vie

Sunday, August 31st, 2008 at 7:51am

It’s been over a week since my last post, surely I’ve got something worth saying… right?

Well, not really. Things have been moving pretty quickly, however. I have been staying busy, without accomplishing anything worth sharing. So, what does that tell me? Oh well.

Work has been keeping me pretty ridiculously busy, actually. There may be a lot of late hours coming up in the next week trying to meet some of these deadlines. My new policy on these things is to take it all in one day at a time. It’s way too overwhelming to look at a mound of work, knowing there are only X number of days to finish it.

Mallory and I finished season three of Lost, and are now without DVDs to watch. The original plan was to wait until December ’til they come out, but I’m currently downloading season four in HD… sooooooo… yeah. Looks like we’re gonna work on that sooner than later. Then there really won’t be anything I can do to cheat. Season five starts in January (or is it February?) and there’s nothing I can do to make that happen faster.

Florisarah is in London. Part of a studying abroad program, so she’ll be there until mid December. They haven’t yet invented a word to accurately portray just how jealous I am. She keeps trying to talk me into visiting. However, round trip tickets are in the neighborhood of a thousand bucks — not that I’ve actually looked them up, or anything…

On a whim, I sent a “What the fuck are you doing today?” text message to Tera today. To my surprise, she was in town. We met up for lunch, and later had some frozen yogurt at Berry Swirl. I refuse to call it FroYo, as apparently is the cool thing to do these days.

We talked. A lot. About her and her ex boys. About me and my ex girls. About “the good ol’ days” in school, and how depressing it is that five years from now we’ll call these days the good ol’ days. She mentioned that she’s starting to hate LA, and her job. And that she terribly misses SD, and her friends. So, who knows what all of that means just yet. We also talked fairly seriously about getting tattooed for my birthday. I would like that very much.

I went to dinner with Alex. It had been a long while since we sat down and talked. I caught her up on all of my drama, and she caught me up on hers. Chatting with Alex is less a bitching/venting session, and a little more like therapy. We don’t talk about the things that happened, but about why they happened, and what it all means. Stuff like that.

I’ve got another play date set up with Charrmaine in a couple weeks. She invited me up to see Tricky with her. I’m not entirely sure how that show will go, as he’s kind of hit or miss with me. He’s got a new album out which I need to check out. I’m excited all the same to get out and do something new. Plus, of course, there is the obligatory alcohol that comes with seeing Charrmaine. She tells me she’s heard of a place with exceptionally good Long Islands. We’ll see about that.

There is a small going away party next week for Joel. He’s moving far, far away. One of those red states. Like Iowa… or Missouri, or something. I can never remember. I invited both Charrmaine and Alex to come, but the date of the even keeps changing and they’re busy girls, so I’m not too sure they’ll make it.

I’ve also decided that it will be the last time I’ll see any of the old Borders crew. I’ve just had enough of their bullshit and drama, and their constant shit-talking about me behind my back. I’ve had enough.

I’ll miss Sarah… a lot, actually. But she seems to be a packaged deal with the rest of the crowd.

I’ve seen very little of Mallory in the past week. My schedule was crazy during the week, and she’s out of town all weekend. I’ve got a three day weekend with no Mallory to keep me occupied! So, I’m just a little bored. But, it also gives me some time to get some things done. Be domestic. Plus, I think I’m in the need for a little quiet, down time.

To put everything in its place.

Two years ago today.

Goodnight Moon.
Maybe, someday…

Jack & Christian Shephard

Thursday, August 21st, 2008 at 6:13am

I know some of you get it.

I keep feeling the need to sit down and write before going to bed, but nothing worth while ever seems to follow. There’s still a big black spot in my life right now. I’m not entirely sure where the void is anymore. Things are missing.

I got hit with a sizable wave of depression tonight over dinner. I really don’t know where it came from. It hit me pretty deep though.

Maybe this just falls under “You’ll never be happy with what you have.” If I had a nickel for every time I heard that.

I dunno.

It’s coming.

Goodnight Moon.
Don’t mind me, please.

Science and Death

Monday, August 18th, 2008 at 8:33am

I think I may have taken that picture a dozen times in my life.

Disneyland yesterday was lots of good fun! A little hotter than I expected, and it sure did drain all the energy out of me. We managed to keep our cool, however. Rides with shorter lines, and catching a few shows here and there. We rode the Railroad around Disneyland almost two complete times, which was fun. Once the sun went down, I got a second wind and we made up for lost time. The bigger rides, and even Fantasmic!, which I haven’t seen in a long, long time.

We ate lots of good food, but didn’t go overboard. Had lots of long conversations about a variety of topics. And did every ride we wanted to, some more than once. So, hey – it was a pretty great day.

Mallory was dealt a bit of a blow today. Her parents had been away for a few weeks visiting their parents in Oklahoma. When they got back, they told her they want to move to Texas. Yikes. So now she’s got a bit of a much more strict time limit on the whole moving-out-thing. I think the added pressure (which is kind of on both of us now) is a good thing.

Yeah, that’s about all I’ve got right now. It’s late.

Goodnight Moon.

Auto Pilot

Thursday, August 14th, 2008 at 7:15am

Everything inside of me hurts. Good gracious.

So, picture a typical cartoon bone. You know those boob-like nubs on the end? That’s what my mom broke. The doctor used the word “shatter.” So, it’s not a pretty picture. Left upper arm, above the elbow. It major sucks.

I have no where near enough to say to warrant a new post, but here I am. Rambling.

Tonight was a pretty calm night. I worked an hour extra hour, which is kinda nice. There are lots of big things on the horizon, and I’m gonna be putting in lots and lots of extra hours I fear. I’m trying to keep my cool, and take it a day at a time. When I look at the whole picture, it will freak me out a little.

Got home late, drove home without any traffic. Watched a little TV, had myself a nice dinner and some wine (which I’ve totally been neglecting, by the way). I might play a little Final Fantasy 3 before bed… we’ll see.

It’s actually been kinda nice having a new game to play. I haven’t actually sat and played video games for my own enjoyment in months, and months.

In addition to the girls up north pulling me their way, I’ve now got Florisarah trying to talk me into visiting her when she’s in London. I’m flattered and all, but that just ain’t gonna happen. You crazy girls.

Crazy, crazy girls.

Goodnight Moon.
Dream On.

Aural Nostalgia

Wednesday, August 13th, 2008 at 5:22am

This week is gonna be different, right? Seriously, this time. We can do this together. Just me and myself.

A whole lot of nothing has been going on lately. Everything’s been quiet. I had a good weekend, spending a little bit of time with Mallory. Drinking, watching anime, and lots, and lots of talking. I do love me some good talks.

The latest big moving out plan has the word Irvine written all over it. Mal and I are both big fans of the area, but are also quite aware that it’s a pretty expensive place. I’ve yet to really look around to price things out, but I know I’ll be paying more than what I’m paying now. That’s all fine and good if the whole thing happens. It’s worth it to me, for sure.

Tera and Charrmaine, as always, are still pulling for me to come to LA. Both of them make the same claim: You know you’re headed up here eventually, and its better to just move once, than twice. However, now that this Irvine plan has legs (albeit small ones) I’m feeling much more inclined to stay a bit more southern. Plus, I’d be a stone’s throw from Disneyland, and I just can’t argue with that.

There is this house just down the street from my parents’ place with a brand new paint job. It’s a color somewhere between mint green and sea-foam blue. It’s a very bold color to paint an entire house, but I kinda dig it. I think it was done in that lovely 50’s era atomic pop kind of motif. My suspicions of that were all but confirmed when last sunday there was a huge rockabilly party going on, with a half dozen beautiful hot rods parked out front.

It all makes me think about that someday when I get a place of my own. And you better believe I’m gonna do something equally as rad with my house.

My mom broke her arm today. Major bummer. It was just a misstep going up a curb, and down she went. Left arm, right above the elbow. You know, those big upper arm bones. Yikes. She seems to be doing just fine, all things considered. She will be going to the hospital again tomorrow to find out of she’ll need surgery to set the bone, or just cast it up. She’s gonna go crazy without the use of her arm to play her Dr Mario!

Work has been pretty decent lately. Nothing too major and new going on. Things have been pretty busy, and I’ve been finding my peaceful spot by just putting my headphones on, and keeping my head down (both in an effort to focus on work, to dodge flying ping-pong balls).

I’m excited about Disneyland already… which means the rest of this week is going to go super slow.

One year ago today…

Goodnight Moon.
Maybe, Someday.

This Is One For The Good Days

Friday, August 8th, 2008 at 7:56am

Where does the time go? Here today…

Last night I went to the ballet. It was pretty damn awesome. Earlier in the week Kirsten sent me a text asking if I’d be interested, and my immediate reply was “only hell yes!” I only knew it as “The Danny Elfman Ballet,” the first ballet he’s ever written. I figured, absolute worst case scenario, I’d get to hear some awesome music performed by an orchestra. So, last night Kirsten, Marke, and his new friend Lauren (Laura? Shoot…) and myself all went up to Costa Mesa. And good times were had by all!

I’ve been hanging out with Mallory a little less than usual these past few days. However, it seems that when we do hang, we click a little better than we usually do. Perhaps we’ve found a good balance of time apart and time together. Or maybe, it’s something else. Either way, it’s been very pleasant when we hang out. Lots of conversation, and laughs. Tomorrow we are hanging out at her place. We have plans for drinks and anime. So, y’know, that’s pretty damn awesome.

Next weekend is going to be pretty great, too. Mal and I will be going to Disneyland on the 16th, and the day before will be a nice house party at her place while her parents are out of town. How Jr. High! Maybe that should be the theme? We could play truth or dare, and seven minutes in heaven, and shit like that.

This moving situation that I keep bitching, complaining, crying about might be sorting itself out. It’s a long term plan… nothing’s gonna happen until the end of the year, at the earliest. But having a plan feels better than just floating along.

I’ve also been putting lots of work into redesigning my portfolio website. I’m hoping to land a few freelance jobs here and there. Even one every other month would give me just a little extra dough to make things more comfortable. Little step, by little step.

Trying to stay positive, because I’m tired of the alternative.

Goodnight Moon.
Maybe, Someday.

Still Applicable Today

Monday, August 4th, 2008 at 6:49am

Yeah… It’s kinda been a while, I know. I think I’ve been waiting for something more positive to talk about. Lately, there’s been nothing but mope inside my head. Things still suck, I’m still blue, and I’m still pretending things are not those things.

Where’s my thunderstorm? Where’s the big hurricane that’s gonna turn my life on its head? I’m waiting. I’m waiting so patiently.

For a while I was starting to wonder if Charrmaine and Tera got together behind my back and agreed to really put the heat on me to move north. If I had my druthers, I’d do it right away. But I tend to muck everything up. Make things far more complicated than it needs to be. I’m either taking the necessary steps, or I’m finding more excuses. I’m far better at doing one of those, than the other.

Things between Mallory and I have kind of taken a turn for the weird. In some ways, things are better than they have been in a long time. However, we tend to be getting into… disagreements, a little more frequently. It’s quite likely due to my… moods, which I definitely keep in mind. It’s very interesting to take a step back and watch these things unfold. It’s a little eerie.

Things’ve gotta start looking up eventually, right?

Goodnight Moon.